Why you need to stay on your meds.
Friends,
First, I know it's been a hot minute. But I'm going to be honest, I didn't realize how much launching a book takes out of you! After "Finding Rest: A Survivor's Guide to Navigating the Valleys of Anxiety, Faith, and Life" came out on September 28, the last month has been somewhat of a blur. It's also been draining. I can't even tell you how many radio, podcast, and TV interviews I did. And while I'm so grateful for the opportunity to spread the message of hope in its pages, the truth is the last few weeks have left me mentally exhausted.
This week is the first week I've felt that things are a little more back to normal. And so that's why I'm back to writing to you (hopefully) weekly. And I want to share something with you that's come up a lot recently in my conversations: anxiety meds. Specifically, the conversation around getting off of them.
But let me say this first: I'm not your doctor, psychiatrist, or counselor. But I am a friend. And as your friend I need to share some things with you.
In the last month, I've had four separate conversations with people who have said they have tried to get off their anxiety/OCD/mental health meds and it didn't end well. Here's the gist:
I got on meds and they helped me
But I don't want to be on meds for the rest of my life, so I tried to ween myself off of them
Once I got off, things were good
But then something unexpected happened (a death, a stressful event, etc)
I went into a tailspin, and ended up in a very bad place mentally
Then I tried to get back on my meds and they didn't help fast enough
Does that sound familiar? I want to address a couple things here.
First,as I say in my book, you cannot be the arbiter of how God offers you relief. But too many times in our pride we tell God that he can only help us in a certain way. Sure, maybe you're open to taking medication, but you haven't gone all in on the idea that taking them might be how God helps you for the rest of your life. I tell people consistently to turn their "What if?" into their "So what!"
You: "What if I'm on meds for the rest of my life?"
"Me: So what!"
Medication may be the common grace lifeline that God has given you. And it may just be the one thing he uses daily, for the rest of your life, to remind you that you are weak and in need of his grace. That's what it's been for me.
Second, I think we can make an idol of getting off meds. Yes, I said it...an idol. Listen, one thing I've learned about myself and my sinful nature is that I can turn anything into an idol and worship it. I've done that with the Chinese buffet in the past, for crying out loud! So let me ask you this question: Are you making getting off medication an idol? Are you putting so much hope in that, that you're missing what God is trying to teach you in this season?
Finally, let me say this: I don't just take my meds consistently for what they give me TODAY. I take them for what they can do for me in future. I take them because I don't know what tomorrow will bring, what potentially triggering event I will encounter, or what crazy thing will pop up in my life.
Let me give you two examples. A year and a half ago I got a call that my stepdad had passed out and was on a ventilator in the hospital. It was tough. I rushed to Wisconsin to find him completely unresponsive. Days later he passed away. Now, in the season before I got that call I was doing pretty well. Even though it was the height of COVID and I had some anxious episodes, I wasn't nearly as anxious as I could have been. I could have tried weening myself off my meds that spring, but I didn't. And I'm so glad I didn't.
Can you imagine what would have happened if I got that call about my stepdad when I WASN'T on my meds? I can. And really it's not that hard to imagine, because months earlier I was off my meds for about a month and Christmas with my wife's family was a disaster, as the tiniest of stresses sent me into a tailspin.
Here's a more recent example. Last month, while trying to trade my truck in, a woman hit me in a parking lot. If you've read my book you know that my OCD is really concerned with car trouble. I hear ticks that aren't there, dents and scratches look twice as big, and I'm religious about oil changes and the like. Ten years ago if I would have been hit in a parking lot, I would have been caught in a thought cycle for weeks. This time, though, it only lasted a few days. That's a win! And I attribute a big part of that to being consistent with my meds, even in the good times. Because when I'm consistent in the good times, it makes me able to actually stomach, face, and battle the bad times.
Friend, there may be times where you feel great and that you don't need your meds. And I celebrate that season with you. But what happens when you get that unexpected call? What happens when you get in that unexpected accident? What happens when you unexpectedly lose your job?
Your meds are not just there to help you handle your day-to-day, they are also there to help you handle the unexpected stresses that will pop up. And when they come, you will be better able to handle them.
Are there side effects? Absolutely. For example, I've resolved that I'm always going to battle my weight as long as I'm on my meds (although that's not an excuse not to exercise). Why? Because my med (Prozac) makes it harder to lose weight. Before I started taking it, I could count my calories and run regularly and lose 50 pounds. Now I do the same thing and I barely lose 20. But as my wife has said, she'd rather have a little more to love than have a skinnier "old Jon" who was awful to live with. I trust her in that.
Listen, I will never say that there is a magic pill that takes it all away. Please, no. There isn't. But my little white pill that I take every night is a massive tool in my toolbox when it comes to battling my anxiety and OCD.
Again, I'm not your doctor, psychiatrist, or counselor. But I encourage you to think about this and talk to them about it. If they give you different advice, take it. But in the end, I ask you not to try and play doctor yourself and adjust your own meds or get off them on your own.
Rest in the fact that God has given you this common grace. Rest in the fact that he's given you a valuable weapon in this fight. Rest in the fact that you are not broken by staying on meds for as long as you need to.
It could save your life.